The darkness

You are everything I could write so well about

But I will not even dignify you with beautiful words

Go away

He's asleep

He's asleep and I'm angry

I'm angry because it is dark

Because I was excited to be with him

Because he watched our show without me

And because he is still asleep

He's asleep and I'm broken

I'm broken because it is dark

Because I haven't seen him all day

Because he ate dinner without me

And because he is still asleep

He's asleep and I'm empty

I'm empty because it's dark

Because I don't want to be alone

Because he went to bed without me

And because he is still asleep

Alone

I feel like I build my dreams up strong and fast

But you break them more quickly and they shatter like glass

Sighs and sleep

The space inside me grows

Into hardened resentment

That I decide to divide for logic's sake

For in front of me lies the path less traveled 

And yet my yoke is too wide to fit through  it

I divide it as such:

I blame the one next to me

He does not appreciate the closeness of the small yoke

He thinks it pinches me, though it does not

I blame the one who yoked us

He lead us to this path knowingly and yet fit us poorly for it

He watches even now as I strain to see beyond its curving length

He tells me how I would do so well on it

How I would love the sights and smells

He even mentions that he has shoed me for such a path

And yet I do not take it

I love them both

But tonight I resent them too

The flickering spark

I offer you a gift

I give you my life

My dreams

My ultimate love

My undivided affections

My mindful attentions

But for you to give that back

Every day

Threatens to become a task

And you don't want to check it off

So I must restrain my gifts

And hold back my self

I must look for other ways to love

With less of me

Less often

Because all of me all the time

Was too much

But I am a being of extremes

Of deep intentions

I do not live on plateaus

Only in dark valleys and bright mountains

The dull fields and plains are not for me

So in my heart I fear

In having less of me

You will soon have none

And thus this connection will burn out

The fog

The fog rolls in with my thoughts

The music triggers a memory

The memory a sense

The sense a feeling

The feeling a loss

The loss a statement

The statement a reality

The reality is here

But the fog covers the here

It allows me to travel

I step into the grey billows 

In the mist I see another life

It is faded and moody with the winds

Shifting and folding in upon itself

As I listen it is muffled

I hear the music, though faint

And then I shiver

The cold seeps into my skin

It wraps me up and pushes me around

And although this place seemed magical

I am done with it now

I long to be back in the warmth 

To see the light reflect off clear waters

To feel the heat between shadows

I am ready for this haze to lift

I am ready to be back in the sun

Best friends

The deep part of my being is aching 

The heart of my hearts feels sore

I know it is you I am missing

Each day I wish you were here more