December 23, 2011

the weather reflects me
it drizzles and the sky is grey
the ocean is brown, muddied
the waves are haphazard, crashing on the rocks
a sparrow flies onto the balcony, escaping the rain
but the cold wind whips around
and the drops make their way onto it's little fluffy coat of feathers
the sparrow flies to a safer place
but I have no wings to take me away


December 22, 2011

Siesta

My mind is a gift
Straight from Heaven
It is full of ideas
It is active and useful

My imagination
However
Sometimes 
Takes over my mind
That’s when you
Should start to worry
Because that is when
My mind is on
Siesta

The beach

I take a deep breath of the salty air
and push myself forward
My foot lands on solid, wet sand
I push forward still
Each step bringing me closer
My body has no limits here
My joints feel no pain
There is nothing holding me back
My heels leave slight imprints
My toes push off the grainy moisture
I push forward even still
Soon my steps leave no print
The breeze picks up and I feel it whip around me
It reaches down and scoops me up
My body lifts into a sea of blue
The air becomes my terrain
The clouds are my companions
The wind is my guide
They sky is my fortress
The sun is my tower
The journey is here
And I am free

December 21, 2011

Hidden Pasts

It was just a matter of time
I slink down in my seat
I hope that the faces around the table
Will forget that I'm there

They don't

I push down the red rising to my face
I panic
Don't let it show
Don't let them know
My brother, I'm sure he knows
He watches me as I speak
I speak truth...
Partial truth....
The beginning of a truth
The subject changes
Everyone else has moved on to something else
But my head flies through the story
The WHOLE truth
Every moment
It grows darker in my head
My heart begins to hurt
I can tell I'm sweating
My breath is quick and heavy
I have to leave the table
NOW

"Excuse me"

Regret

The things I hold on to
The things I hold dear to me
Float away like clouds on a windy day
Like the foam on the waves of the sea
Like sticks and leaves sliding down a gutter
To places I cannot reach
So I grab onto what I can
Until those things are taken from me

December 18, 2011

Sometimes I hate my sense of smell

I breathe in.
There it is.
I breathe in again.
My throat wants to close.
My heart feels tight.
I might be sick.
Everything smells like you.

Pressing Questions

There it is.
That phrase I hate to hear.
Settle down.
I cringe.
No, not you too.
Why does my heart demand
m  o  v  e  m  e  n  t
free spirit-ness
that only the jumping from
place
        to
           place
can subside?
Why does he even
linger




on that place that so many
times I have despised?
The place I pledge never
to settle down in
for fear of complacency
and loss of adventure in spirit
you d
        a
       n
        g
       l
        e
it in front of me
enticing me to change my
view and to turn on myself.
And quite frankly, it undoes
me.                                           up
Because I, so far, have looked
to you
and in some ways this only
strengthens my admiration
that you can be honest
with yourself
and venture there
while I still stand
                            stubborn.
And in other ways I     scoff
at how easily you seemed
to have given
                    in.
That they have  lured  you in so quickly
that you could turn so easily
on the lifestyle I think
you were meant to live.
You anger me.
You astound me.
And suddenly I feel small.
Looking for excuses to bail
you out of this prison I
perceive around you
secretly wishing I could
feel so free.
I claim flexibility but
I put it within walls
and name it tame.
When in reality it is wild
and scratching at the bricks
roaring to be set free
and clawing at me
    its "owner"
who leashes it and
pretends the bleeding scratches
don't exist
and aren't staining my very being.
It doesn't seem fair.
I watch you from afar
in awe.
And suddenly I hope
that by somehow
standing near
that ability to be free
will rub off on me.
That you will take me in,
apprentice me,
teach me how to make
that part of you
a part of me.
That's why....

Wait, what was the question again?