Here again
Pitying those who feel
Reliving that night where I was strong
She was in tears
And I lectured her feeling superior
Now jealous
Never knowing how to feel her hurt
That raw emotion of loss
In real time, expressed
How, though, could they understand
For a girl with no home
That places mean nothing to me
Change is adventure
Moving is another restart
Like I have done again
And again
And again
But the people
Each one is home
Each one holds a part of me
That I am afraid they will forget
And then I will lose it
Pieces of me left behind in each breathing home
That are so widespread now
That I cannot ever have my whole self
And each person a little glipse of an idea
That I have only heard of
That idea of belonging
Of secure
Of identity
And memories
And love
All stored in one place
In one house or town
To me is wide and scattered
And always changing
And again I am losing myself to these people
And so it comes as no surprise how it now drains me
To think of finding more friends
Or holding too tightly to old friends
And putting in the time to explain me
And let them get a glimpse of me
And hold a piece of me with them
Oh, the thought exhausts me
And every time I think I will give up
But I will change, and who will hold those new mes
And how will I leave these pieces of me behind again
And show them the immense power they hold
The value they have
And the truth that I am spread too thin to express
How explicitly they are cherished
That I have failed too early to learn
And too often to change
And too quickly to try
So when the end comes
I will go back to that night
As a child, watching another child weep
Thinking that she must be broken
That we must grow up
But it was me who was broken
A child without tears
Forgetting to feel goodbye
