So Much For Great-Good-Byes

One last hug
One last kiss
One more time to say
How much you missed
Her, you take her hand
Look into her eyes again
Allow her to fly in this
Love, and she shuts her eyes
So tight, looks up at the light
Hoping tears will stay inside
She doesn't wanna cry
Not this time

So much for great good
Byes and
So much for love and
Emotional ties and
So much for those great times
That were spent together
Now they just talk about the weather

So far

The time has passed and
You try to make things last
She feels so distant now
And wonders every night
How different it would be
If maybe then she'd be able
To see the way you see things now
She doesn't wanna cry
Not this time

So much for great good
Byes and
So much for love and
Emotional ties and
So much for those great times
That were spent together
Now they just talk about the
Whether or not it would have worked
Between them if they had
Stayed together

You're far away
One last hug
She whispers about her love
You look into
Each other's eyes
And it takes everything in her
Not to cry


One last wave goodbye

"Heart"y Haiku (ugh, Maia, you are so lame)

A heart can be crushed
By the actions of "loved" ones
But true love cures all

Getting In A People Mindset

Tap my foot
Sigh
Shift my weight
Rub my chin
Ugh
They are taking so long
They are old
And have so much baggage to check
And are talking WAY too loud
And they are definitely from the northern USA
And they are JUST like my aunts and uncles and grandpa
And look at her sweater... with... cute snowflakes
And they really are trying to understand how to do this
And he does things like my grandpa
I miss my grandpa
He would be like this when he travels
What did she just say?
"Joyous Jerry!"?
That's so funny!
I wonder if they need help...
Oh, it's my turn.

Home Slut

I open the door
"I'm so glad to be home!"
"But, this is our first time in this house..."

I lay on the bed
"I wish you'd come home!"
"But, all of your stuff is here with me..."

I pack a suitcase
"It'll be good to go home!"
"But, your parents just moved to that place..."

And looking back
OK
it's probably true
but you only have one home
and home to me is wherever I am
so, for me, it's impossible
to cheat on
my home

I'm glad you live far away

When you smile, I smile
but I'll never admit it
because to admit it would be to commit
and to commit to that kind of smiling
could ruin the skin on my face
causing all sorts of wrinkles around
my eyes
and cheeks
because that's what perpetual smiling does
and you seem to always find something
to smile about

it's the only reason I could think of

The trials of walking

With each step I take
I sink further
Further
Further into myself
Into the moments concocted in my head
Into the unpleasant state of my heart in this moment

With each step I take
I breathe harder
Harder
Harder than before
Because I haven't felt this weight in so long
Because I haven't let my heart open up

With each step I take
I drop lower
Lower
Lowering my head
Because I know what I am doing
Because I know that I should not

And as I sink
and breathe
and drop
these moments of my life now, on paper
I wonder if I will ever see the sun again
I wonder if I will ever break free of this

And so if I must sink
I hope I will find the grace to sink
my head into your shoulder as we sleep

And so if I must breathe
I hope I will find the peace to breathe
each breath in sync with your own

And so if I must drop
I hope I will find the humility to drop
every pain down at the feet of the One
who loves us more than we could ever know

And then as I sink
and breathe
and drop
these moments of my life, now on paper
I know that there I will see the Son again
I know that He will have broken me free of this

Heavy Heart

Today my heart feels heavy. I am tired but I don't know if I can sleep. My blood seems to flow in a dilapidated rhythm that my hands reflect in shakes of weakness.

Today my heart feels heavy. I am thinking and reasoning and trying to work out what I see as kinks in the plan, in my plan, only to realize that the kink is that I am relying on my plan. And yet I do not want to give it up.

Today my heart feels heavy. I see myself as I am. Lost in myself and staring at another who should be so close to me I can feel his breathing on my neck and yet I am so far from him right now. But I chose that.

Today my heart feels heavy. I look at my future and I see things I may not want to do/be/have and yet I also see him and that should be enough for me right now. I know that He has it planned out for my good.

Today my heart feels heavy. I see every choice come before me from the moment we met and have no room to regret any of them. I knew who you were and I know who you are now, even if you don't. But I also wish you knew the same about me.

Today my heart feels heavy. I don't know when it will feel light again. I don't know if it will ever feel light again. But I do know who holds it in His hands and He can handle the weight.