When I can't be me

"Let Maia Be Maia" is my mantra this year
Only it isn't that simple, is it?
There are moments when I am not acceptable
When what is expected
What is deemed appropriate
What is perceived
Trumps me
Washes out my vibrant light
Dims me down
Pushes me aside
Stomps out my inner flame

Somehow, the boarders of this life
The restrictions of this world
The framework of society
Do not permit me

I was made for another place
A place where friendship goes deeper
Where familiarity is wider
Where love is longer
Where people can be their whole selves
Always
With everyone

And that place is clearly not here

So Maia, she cannot be Maia
Because Maia is not allowed on this earth

I will hold back
I will mourn the loss of myself
And then I will step in the lines
And pretend I belong here

For now