Storm

Here I am, in the midst
of the whipping wind
the thrashing waves
the cold, grabbing at
me, to my deepest
being, as I am tossed
about at the whim
of the storm.

Here I am, grasping
at lines, gripping
rails, gurgling
between gasps as
the waves heave me
wherever they choose.

Here I am, soaked,
numb, clinging to
ship, to life, and
waiting, waiting
helpless until this
storm passes.

This Me

This me who I claim to have changed to, the one who has left that life behind, the one who lives in the light, who does not live the lie

This me who is still in progress, still fighting to break out of this skin, still begging to be free

This me who I am now, who searches for answers, who fights myself, who gives up then tries again

This me who is learning to be again, to love again, to feel again, who hates the old me and who battles to keep it at bay, at heart, and at mind

This me, is ok, to be.

Crying Sucks

Crying sucks

the life

out of me 

the tears flow

down and out

of breath I breathe

deep sorrow goes and

comes close to madness

which way to turn

around this topic of

conversation stops

short on patience

kindness from friends

who am I really

tired.

Consumed

We hold it in
Our secrets
That we think define us
That we think will decide things for us
Who we are
What we stand for
What we're worth
What we have to offer
We suck them down
So they won't consume us
We try to consume them
But in our stomachs they eat away
Acid that picks through
To our hearts, brains
And on the outside we force ourselves to smile

Best Friend

Best friend
A title you deserve from time served on a silver platter of breaking the fast of friends departed
The ins and outs of joy to the world created from memories forged of deepening fire from within two hearts joined as one

And me looking on through the glass smudged by my face pressed in close to hear the secret kept silent from us who are unable to open

Lost to you

In my past
I lost myself
In someone else
To someone else
Wiping even the simplest memories
From my mind
Stealing thoughts
Faces
Moments
From me
I stare at photos
Wondering how I missed this
How I seemed to have disappeared
From friends
Soul-mates
Classmates
Roommates
When I sunk myself off into the vast ocean
Floating into deep waters
Filled with darkness and danger
Thrown about by the wind
The rain thrashing
And me, somehow, oblivious
Lost in a world
Caught up with you
The extent of your damage was unknown but
Discovered as my heart filled with water
The sails whipping and wet
The helm endlessly spinning
And finally, as the mast crashed down
I saw I was sinking
I trashed about in the cold waters
Sputtering in search of air beneath waves
Grabbed and rescued
I find myself on dry land
Still coughing up the salt
That you have embedded in my lungs
A remnant
Of my past

Moving

This Painting
Colors fading
Paint chipping
Canvas ripping
Coming apart at the seams
Wrapped
Boxed
Taped
Stored away forever
This place
Those people
These memories